I’m having a ‘WWGCD?’ moment. Would WOULD George Carlin do? The past little bit my travels and wanderings have led me to explore a strange new world. The world of privilege. What is it? well.. oh lets not shall we? But if you must, click here for the rundown. I just.. cant..
Here is where I admit my own culpability: I used to use this word from time to time. I can no longer do so in good conscious. Not because the motivation behind it has no merit (it does.. or at least it did.. until people went all crazygonuts with the word) but because of the absurdist, victimhood attachment and just flat over use of the word.
Oh, also.. I apparently HAVE a lot of these. Depression Privilege.. FINALLY! its about damn time that one paid off! Apparently depression privilege is ‘getting all the pity of having a mental illness, but the disease is well understood and “practically curable.” Also, I shouldn’t count as being mental unwell because I currently don’t have symptoms.’ So you got a little case of schizo affective disorder? HA! Officially better than you! Cause my brain only tries to eat itself in these specific ways while yours chooses other ways to eat itself and my brain eating MO is way betterer than yours. Suck it!
Somehow we went from well meaning discussions on class privilege and gender privilege to this: (do not ask me what they are, they are all google-able. I am beyond fed up with it so would appreciate not being a resource for more information on the crazy.)
List the First: Real and Google-able
- Adult Privilege
- White privilege
- Black Male Privilege
- Racial Privilege
- Male privilege
- Female Privilege
- Heterosexual privilege
- Straight Priviliege
- Gay Privilege
- Non-Trans Privilege
- Cisgender privilege
- Gender Privilege
- Gender Identity Privilege
- singlet privilege
- Passing Privilege
- Religious Privilege
- Christian privilege
- Non-Poor Privilege
- Wealthy Privilege
- Rich Privilege
- Middle Class Privilege
- Upper Class Privilege
- Class privilege
- cisclass privilege
- First world privilege
- Citizenship Privilege
- American Privilege
- Education Privilege
- Neurotypical privilege – anyone who does not have atypical neurology
- depression privilege
- Able-bodied privilege
- Ingroup versus outgroup privilege
- Horizontal inequality privilege
- Intersectionality Privilege
- Dominant privilege
- Non-otherkin privilege
- Couple Privilege
- Blond Privilege
- brunette privilege
- Ginger Privilege
- Average Sized Person Privilege
- Thin Privilege
- Athletic Privilege
- Privilege to Game
- academic privilege
- Executive privilege
List the second: Real, google-able but just too legit for our purposes here
- Parliamentary privilege
- Privilege (canon law)
- Privilège du blanc (different kind of white privilege)
- Privilege of Peerage
List the Third: Shit I just made up to prove a point (yet no less insipid than many items from list 1)
- Makeup privilege - not everyone has a talent for blending. we shouldn’t be judged because we cant contour properly or have defined lines eyeliner
- Colbert privilege - words are hard. some people just can’t understand references from pop culture, politics and internet memes all one show.
- Vedder privilege - some people have a preference for music sans mumbling and ukuleles
- Risotto privilege - we seriously need to stop judging people on how well their risotto turns out. do you know how hard that is?
- Dreadlocks privilege - many many people have tender scalps which means carrying around feet long dreads all day would cause major headaches. its a disability really. so check your privilege before the next time you say ‘ooh awesome dreads!!’ some of us would LOVE to have them and just cant for medical reasons
- Roller derby privilege-you have to have healthcare if you wanna be in the derby. lots of broken bones and blood in them there rinks. no health care = no cool roller chick name
- Natural rhythm privilege – its hurtful to make fun of white folk who cant dance just because of their DNA.
- Spock privilege - did you know some can’t make the ‘live long & prosper’ sign? its genetic, for serious. can you imagine being a Trekkie at a con & you cant do this? So much shaming. Its gotta end guys.
- Vegan zombie privilege - seriously, what are they supposed to eat? why are scientists not working on a way to reanimate carrots and lentils? That’s discrimination, that’s what that is..
- Hipster privilege- not everyone looks good in oversize glasses or fedoras. We just wanna be able to love Macklemore without judgement, is that so much to ask?
But back to George.. I am gonna place my Carlin Bobble Head right next to my Buddha statue as they are equal in the eyes of my hero worship. I can think of no commentary greater than this from the man’s own words:
“The decay and disintegration of this culture is astonishingly amusing if you are emotionally detached from it. I have always viewed it from a safe distance, knowing I don’t belong; it doesn’t include me, and it never has. no matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.”
― George Carlin, Brain Droppings