The Body Slave

This is a reactionary piece, one written in response to something my Dominant wrote a couple of months back. (Why dont Dominants write more anyway? It would be oh so helpful!)

I love the idea of a body slave. Someone whose sole job it is to provide for the ease and comfort of ones bodily health. I am attracted to that type of service because it is very freeing to me to be able to have some one else take care of those daily routines that are so… daily. The idea that it is someones duty and pleasure to fulfill that role fascinates be. I find it hard to let go of my own self care. It almost seems overly decadent to allow that type of service but that is what arouses me most about it.

His writing:

The body slave, domestic servant or intimate care taker?

I love the idea of a body slave. Someone whose sole job it is to provide for the ease and comfort of ones bodily health. I am attracted to that type of service because it is very freeing to me to be able to have some one else take care of those daily routines that are so… daily. The idea that it is someones duty and pleasure to fulfill that role fascinates be. I find it hard to let go of my own self care. It almost seems overly decadent to allow that type of service but that is what arouses me most about it.

In my life I am lucky to already have a measure of that, a partner , a submissive that tends to my domain. Looking after the details of daily living while I am either at work or relaxing. But there is more to be had and more I want to indulge in. I want my clothes laid out for me in the morning, I want my boots tied for me before I leave, I want the pampering of a massage or my hair washed for me. The idea that she looks to my needs in such a intimate fashion is a lovely image. While I know that in life having all those details looked after is daunting to say the least, and unlikely when you have as busy lives as we do, there is something decadent about taking that time for nothing more than personal pleasure.

Service is such a broad subject and seen in so many different ways but the intimate nature of my idea of the ‘body slave’ stirs my mind towards thoughts of roman rule, of noble (or ennoble) houses. It inspires an urge in me to take more for myself to indulge my appetite and have all my bodily needs looked for, perhaps not all the time but surely more often than I do now.

Now my turn:

Well if I am being cheeky i’d say, ‘Well i already am!’ But thats not really the best attitude nor is it really speaking to the spirit of what he wrote. It also doesnt help either of us flesh out or roles in this area, so ‘lets do that then,’ as Dr House would say (total Dom, that one).

First, yes it does seem decadent. But that’s part of what fascinated so many of us about Roissy or The Marketplace. It wasnt JUST the brocade and leather that reeked ‘decadent’. I always pictured Stephen or Chris Parker sitting there with a wry look that said, ‘Yes of course i can do all of this stuff for myself, that’s rather not the point is it?’ And its that LOOK that’s so damn sexy in it’s smugness. You hate it, but you love it and more, you lust after it. It also leads me back to where it is I seem to always end up with all things BDSM: theory and psychology.

WHY is that look so sexy? Same as it is with any D/s practice at its core: in that one look everyone knows the score. He’s got you. He knows it, you know it, you chose it and it turns you both on. It always makes me giggle. You say BDSM and people get images of women writhing in chains, screaming as some Dom beats her. Oh thats hot allright, and definitely has its place. But ask anyone who’s been on the receiving end of both ‘the lash’ and ‘the look’ as to which one is more intense. Psychology wins every time, hands down (or, tied down preferably).

But back to decadence: why does it feel that way? Well because how much effort does it really take to tie your own shoes or pick out your own clothes? We dont live in 1700’s France at Versailles. We’ve had it pounded into our heads that you learn to do for yourself, take care of yourself, take responsibility, get a job, change your oil, pick yourself up by your bootstraps, etc. At varying points for varying degress of royalty having someone dress you was routine. Now it seems almost silly. The silly is what makes it decadent, and an act of service. Because it IS so easy to do for yourself, to have someone willing to do it for you is powerful. In this case its the lack of energy and the abundance of enthusiasm in the doing of the task that is so alluring, for both sides.

Yeah, I said it: alluring. I’m nowhere near the worlds best service submissive (if there is such a thing) and not every activity is for everyone, but I can definitely see the appeal in this case. Here’s why (and since its me it takes a bit of a journey to come right back to the starting point so be warned):

The books that turn me on are the ones that tend to explore the psychology of why this stuff turns us on. The ones where ‘Maria wondered why his smile at her taking so much pain filled her with pride’ rather than ‘jennifer’s ass was a mess of bloody welts as he beat her mercilessly and laughed at her discomfort’. That type thing. Those sorts of books also usually have ‘quieter’ scenes. Ones where the sub polishes boots, serves drinks, dresses as they are told, etc. That’s where the psychology really shines. Why would you scrub a toilet with a toothbrush? Quite simply, because someone is being pleased by it. You, your Dom, or both (both works best imo).

So I look at one of those scenes and try and picture it. She’s lacing his boots, taking her time, getting the knot ‘just so’, making sure the shine is right, its a whole production. She is focused and doing all the ‘work’ (seriously how strenuous is it to lace a shoe?) and he’s doing nothing but watching. Giving that wry grin and being pleased. It has an inherent erotic appeal to it, one being completely ’seen to’ by another much like a hot sex fantasy. So I think of all this, and get all lost in it. Then I put my Dom’s face in his and BLAM!

Call it role play, call it fantasy, call it whatever, but its powerful. BDSM is all about power. Its also hot, of which SM has its fair share.

Told ya, 3 paragraphs to come right back home.

But I seem to have painted the impression that I dream of this as how I’d like life to be 24/7. Well, honestly it wouldnt be so bad, but I just cant see it holding its appeal that way. He spoke of busy lives and aint it the truth. Ideally we’d be independantly wealthy. I’d do all this scurrying and dressing and lacing so he could look his finest before he headed to the club for a drink to discuss important matters. There’d be plenty of time and energy for elaborate rituals and decedant living. Yeah not so much with the realistic. Realistically if I was ordered to do a full ‘body slave’ scene every day two things would happen:

1) I’d get burned out. I do adore having a set structure, but having THAT many tasks in a day would basically leave me no ‘me’ time. I know that shouldn’t be my primary concern, did ya miss up there where I said I wasnt the best sub? But its a real and practical concern. What if I was really tired, or sick, or had a zillion things to do that day bit no matter what I had to get that done? I’d snap a synapse. Part of the appeal is in the expectation and routine, but there has to be some flexibility. If not I’d get grouchy, pissy, do a bad job, and ultimately grow resentful. Thats a freaking death sentence there. Its like falling out of love with someone, its almost impossible to get it back.

2) It would lose its hotness. It sounds so dreamy to think of having these rituals to do every day. And for a while it would be awesome. A while to learn it, a while to enjoy the newness of it, a while to revel in the structure of the routine. Bit one day the routine turns into routine. What was once exciting and thrilling is now everyday and commonplace. That pleased look that was so hot? Well now you’ve seen it a few hundred times, its lost its new car smell.

In short (too late!) the idea does appeal to me and I think it would make for some very hot scenes. I’m all for hot scenes so lets do it! But while I’d of course be open to making a daily ritual, I dont expect that it would be something that would hold my interest indefinitely on a continuous basis.

Also there’s this: It inspires an urge in me to take more for myself to indulge my appetite and have all my bodily needs looked for, which I originally interpretted as ‘bodily needs’, hmmm, he wants more sex! Yes please! Then I reread the whole sentence. I think it means ‘clip my toenails’ instead. Damn.